THAT OLD FEELING

I saw a younger than usual conversationist standing on my stoop. I couldn't help but ask for an age.

"I'm 14." 

"Oh, Wow, that's a first,.. Come on in."

It's funny how quickly we get disconnected from our inner child. Just 12 years ago, (JUST 12 years ago?? oh man..) I too was a 14 year old, starting out high school and exhibiting awkward attempts at gluing together 3-5 words to talk to anyone who may have also heard of the same Japanese noise rock band that I was constantly listening to on my newly acquired Technics turntable.

And talking to girls? Forget about it. (thank god for AOL Instant Messenger). 

I was the worst. A socially illiterate snob with a tongue full of venom. No wonder why nobody liked me except for my best friend Zach. 

Throughout our talk, I had to channel deep within. What was it like to be 14 again?

Somehow, in this adult world of careers, taxes, mortgages, tinder etc. we get detached from the years that helped us develop into the oversized bodies that we gracelessly lug around today. 

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually looking for wisdom in someone half my age.

How come I didn’t have the same level of calm mannered, cool headedness when I was his age? 

Where was that person to teach me these things in my life?

But then I remembered. “You went from being the most socially awkward person in the world, to inviting complete strangers into your apartment”.

That’s a big leap. Especially when it’s taken me 14 years to finally land. 

It’s OK though. We all need moments so that we can say, “Oh yeah, I guess I did come a long way”.

Because we forget, or we don’t think it’s worthy of remembering where we came from. 

No matter how embarrassing or how hurtful it may be, take a moment to remember and smile at the former self that you’ve hatched out of. 

Thanks again for the reminder Ari.

-uluç ülgen